Showing posts with label romance consultant. Show all posts
Showing posts with label romance consultant. Show all posts

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Gidget goes Brown Bag!

Ahh, Gidget and Moondoggie, teen idols of days gone by...

Just as Moondoggie made the girls' hearts all a-flutter and their panties all a-flame, I suspect there were a number of men who watched because Gidget made them all tingly in their giblets. Perhaps that's why we've named our super-stretchy male masturbation sleeve Gidget!


Gidget is a fabulous do-it-yourself-er that, unlike those fickle females, is always ready to do your bidding. Let us examine the various features of Gidget:


As you can see, Gidget is perfect for those "I've got a headache" nights and takes the guesswork out of the "will I get any action tonight" conundrum for those single guys. But that's not all Gidget is good for...

Gidget can be your best friend because, unlike the women in the porno movies, ladies actually do have a gag reflex. There's just so far we can go until (uh-oh) we're done. Some men may not mind the sight of gagging, but women find this very embarrassing uncomfortable. Gidget can be used in conjunction with those special favors to prevent gagging mishaps because she acts as a bumper! Combined with her sensual grip, your lady can let Gidget take the bulk of the bulge while freeing her up to concentrate on just the very tippy-tip, and you'll never notice where Gidget ends and she begins! This means you'll get all the sensation of (dip-dip-dip-de-dip) without (ram-a-lam-a-ding-dong) down her (boogety-boogety-boogety-shoo).

But here comes the best part! When it becomes time for the grand finale, the coup de theatre that simultaneously puts joy in his heart and (sometimes) chills running down her spine, Gidget can handle that too! If your lady simply can't stomach what comes out the top (pun intended) she just pulls it up, pinches off, and it's a quicker-picker-upper!!

The best lubricant to use with any of our C-rings or sleeves is Flavored Body Kiss, a creamy, water-based lube that helps prevent pulling that sensitive skin and comes in Strawberry and Orange flavors so the whole ordeal is now her dessert rather than a chore!

Wow-sa!!


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Wednesday, October 7, 2009

What's in a Brown Bag

This is a new blog to explore the wonderful world of Brown Bag Parties.

I am a Brown Bag Party Consultant; sex-toy saleswoman extraordinaire! You may wonder how I came to be a romance consultant. Me too!! How, after 20 years of being a nurse, how does one simply decide to start slinging dildos for a living?

First of all, that's not exactly what I do-- or certainly not the only thing. My job is as meaningful as it it fun, and although I'd never have dreamed I'd end up here one day, I'm awfully glad I did!

My journey began several years ago when I attended a friend's party (yes--one of those parties!) and I had an absolute blast! I immediately decided (after learning how much the consultant made that night) that I was going to become a romance consultant! I've always been fairly skilled in public speaking, I LOVE to have fun, and I knew my nursing and psych background would be a invaluable when it came to understanding the female body and the physiological/psychological sexual response. I signed on as a rep within a week and I've never looked back.

I've since been able to quit my full-time nursing job and Brown Bag IS my job! I get to spend more time at home with my kids, and even though they're almost grown (actually 2 of them are already adults!) it's nice being able to spend this last bit of time with them.

I get to meet tons of fabulous people (mostly ladies, but plenty of men, too!) and I'm blessed to be able to educate them, empower them sexually, and most of all, make them laugh. I LOVE to make people laugh. The world needs more laughter, otherwise we'd probably just go around killing each other.

I totally believe that monogamy should never equal monotony and anything that spices up a couple's love-life if good! I've been with my husband long enough to know that there are some days that I'd rather wing a bagel off his forehead than sleep with him one more time, and if a little cream dabbed in interesting places makes me all warm for his form, well then bring it on, sister!!

My husband has been married to me long enough to know that if a toy of a vibrating variety makes me more inclined to do the horizontal boogie with him and doesn't replace him altogether, then all the better for him!!

He also enjoys his status as personal product tester. Yes, through the day he is a boring plasterer, but at night he gets to put stuff on his junk and tell me how it feels! It's kind of like being at the optometrist: "Better A, or B.... A, or B. Now 1, or 2.... 1, or 2."

Personally I think we have more fun now that we did as newlyweds. We're the couple that makes people want to vomit--yes, we're just that happy most of the time.

I'll be posting product reviews (not necessarily from a personal point of view, if you know what I mean-- some things need to be kept private!) introducing new products, offering sales and discounts, and posting educational material, so check back often!

I'm not sure how to end this blog. I have the incredible urge to write, "Ya'll come back now, hear?" but that's really lame, so I'm just going to leave you with my favorite line from one of the all-time greatest songs:

"Scaramouche, scaramouche, will you do the fandango?"