Ladies, you know what I'm talking about (wink, wink). That "unwanted" hair we wish would just go away because the guys have voted and tumbleweeds are most definitely out; trim is in. However many hours they spent enjoying National Geographic as a young boy have been superseded by the countless hours of porn-time they've logged on the computer and they now want their woman to be decidedly unnatural.
Landscaping that particular area can be troublesome, because with all those flippers and flappers it's not exactly flat terrain down there and trying to reach every area without slicing anything off is a little like mowing a mine field. Also it's a ra
ther sensitive area. It starts out all, "Ooooh, that's nice!" but an hour later we start to develop the red bumps and rash and we begin to look a little like a plucked chicken. This is hardly the desired effect unless he's into poultry but although most women are not opposed to a little 'dirty talk,' I find we absolutely draw the line at clucking like a chicken. Freaks.All that being said, you can have the slick, streamlined look without the pain and suffering with Coochy Cream*, our rash-free shave cream for trimming up those lady-bits. Coochy is loaded with moisturizing agents to soften the skin, allows you to shave closer and stay smooth a little bit longer. Also, it prevents that horrible day-after itch so you won't be walking around with your finger in your pocket trying to sneak a little bit of a scratch which is frowned upon in church (Sorry, Father O'Brien) but incidentally how I met my husband.
Coochy Shave Cream* can be used on underarms, legs, or under the chin if you're over 40. Even guys can use it to shave if they're not opposed to a little coochy on their face** and it's also good for man-scaping (take the hint guys... if we have to shave, so do you!)
If you're ver
y sensitive, we have Coochy After-Shave Protection Mist. Spray this magic formula on after shaving and it helps close the pores and forms a protective barrier between your skin and your clothing. A little warning: This can sting for about 15 seconds but it's a perfectly acceptable trade-off because I'd gladly burn like a bitch for 15 seconds than hurt like a fother mucker for 2 days. What good is a shiny new toy if it's broken??We also have Sensations, which is every bit as good as Coochy Shave Cream but is more PG-13 if you have young children who are old enough to read but young enough that you don't
want to explain to them what a Coochy is. It's never good when Child Protective Services show up at your door wanting to know why your 8 year-old told his teacher he saw his mom's coochy in the shower.***So, whether you're high-pile, low-pile, carpet or linoleum, if you're one of those ladies that like things neat and clean, go buy some Coochy. Your Beaver will thank you!****
Info, clarifications and disclaimers:
*Coochy comes in 8oz as well as 16oz, Original, Pear Berry or Green Tea Scent. All my products my be viewed online at www.BrownBagByCindi.com.
**If this describes your man, please click here.
***That never actually happened, Mom.
****This statement in no way guarantees your beaver will actually talk. If it does, please visit www.myvaginaisschitzophrenic.com for help.
Search Amazon.com for shaving the bikini area
